Chillin’ on the beach

this is a very carefree dick pic, sender.

there you are, just hanging out on a secluded beach with your dick out. someone’s helped you to take a carefully composed shot, while you gaze off calmly into the shore break. good for you. it’s not HOT HOT HOT but it’s pretty fun, light and visually appealing.

thank you for submitting to critique my dick pic. your dick pic gets a B+.

critique my dick pic, please

I hope border isn’t bad.

i honestly quite like the border! it gives a cheerful, light vibe to your dick pic, which i’m oddly drawn to.

i say “oddly” because it’s not a classically good dick pic - it is, after all, pretty zoomed in and exclusively dick-focused, but it’s got a lot of curved lines and movement and harmonious colours. some people get sniffy about flaccid dick pics but i think that they can work; and besides, you might not even be flaccid; this might be a semi or you might just have one of those dicks that doesn’t stand up straight when it’s hard. hard to tell.

anyway, like i say, i’m into it in a weird way.

thank you for submitting to critique my dick pic. your dick pic gets a B.

I love critiques!

thank you for submitting your dick pic, sender. i have some thoughts.

first things first: you’ve put visible effort into this dick pic and that’s great. it’s not some sloppily fired off log and i’m grateful for that; the framing and composition are good. i’m not sure about your handwork though, sender. this is a bit like the interpretive dance of dick pics; it’s too quirky and angular and Arty to be truly hot.

sometimes the best way to go pose-wise is just gripping your dick like you mean it. i don’t often say this, but you’re overthinking your dick pic.

thank you for submitting to critique my dick pic. your dick pic gets a B-.

Dick pic for you, my dear!

this is a high-effort dick pic, sender. 

the picture quality is excellent and you’ve put some visible thought into the composition and tone of this dick pic. your timing is also perfect, obviously. apart from the fact that it strikes me as ever so slightly medical, you’ve done a really good job. well done.

thank you for submitting to critique my dick pic. your dick pic gets an A-.

Pic submission

Hey,

So here’s me homie. Was weird about sending this in, but it felt really liberating and pure somehow.

thanks for sharing your homie with me, sender. i’m glad it was a pure and liberating experience for you and i’m happy to say that you’ve taken a good dick pic.

you’ve included a generous amount of your body and your pose is very confident and commanding. i feel like you could ramp this up to an A grade dick pic with a more inviting setting, but as is it’s not a bad effort at all.

thank you for submitting to critique my dick pic. your dick pic gets a B+.

Study of male genitalia, seated

nope, not one of the greats, sender.

there’s nothing unique or interesting about this dick pic: the background is mudane, the lighting is glarey, and there’s just no visible effort. you aren’t doing anything with your pose? you aren’t doing anything with your hands? you aren’t doing… anything?

try again, sender.

thank you for submitting to critique my dick pic. your dick pic gets a C-.

(no subject)

image

this is really quite good, sender.

there are certain dick pic looks that are classic and consistently well-received and there’s no reason to mess with them. dicks lying among crisp tussled white sheets is one. hard dicks visible through boxers or pants is another. and, of course, dicks that are all soaped up; looking sexy in the most hygienic of ways. you’ve also included a generous chunk of your torso, which is great, and your grip is very convincing.

there’s something a little off about the framing, but otherwise it’s well done, sender.

thank you for submitting to critique my dick pic. your dick pic gets an A-.

hi!

image

yeah, i’m into this.

your outfit is good, your butt is good, your pose is good. there’s no unnecessary fluff or clutter, just clean lines and curves. the background is perhaps a bit too stark, but overall it’s a hot picture.

thank you for submitting to critique my dick pic. your dick pic gets an A.

(no subject)

A few months ago I took this photo at work (on the flightdeck of an Airbus) and sent it to a potential consort who gave it a reasonable review.

We were on a flight between two large european cities (over France at the time from memory - ahh the romance!), when the first officer left the flightdeck to use the washroom… I took a few photos and had him tucked away with literally seconds to spare before the first officer returned. 

I… would appreciate your thoughts on the merit or otherwise of taking cockshots at work, and in other ‘high risk’ scenarios !

probably the most unbelievable part of this story is that your “consort” gave you a reasonable review.

sorry! i know. you’re trying to fly a goddamn airbus!!!!! surely you can’t take a flawless dick pic under those circumstances!!! well, EXACTLY, sender?? no one was asking you to do this?? it seems reckless?? also, this isn’t a good dick pic.

i suppose, if i imagine what it’s like to be your “consort”, it might be pretty hot to imagine you up there, with all those lives in your hands, plus your own hard dick. the “high risk” element doesn’t make for a good dick pic though. that’s clear, because this isn’t a good dick pic. at least it’s a little bit interesting, though.

thank you for submitting to critique my dick pic. your dick pic gets a C.

POC

thank you for submitting a POC dick pic; they’re highly encouraged around these parts. there’s a fair bit of room for improvement, though.

i mean, you’ve definitely got the right idea with the soaped-up, in-the-bath look, which is classically and consistently hot, and your hand placement is quite tender and attractive. it’s too zoomed in though, with not enough focus on the rest of your body and a mundane and lackluster background.

i feel like you’ve got a better dick pic in you than this, so definitely keep going.

thank you for submitting to critique my dick pic. your dick pic gets a C.