Piercings

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your huge, beaming grin is the highlight and probably the only redeeming feature of this picture, sender.

look: that high angle selfie pose does not work well for dick pics. for a start, it makes your dick look like a speck on the horizon, which i say not for size shaming reasons (of course), but because it strips your picture of any real dick pic vibe. moreover, it means that we as viewers have to look straight down on two fairly unappealing things: feet, and the floor. also, i’m not sure what the pinky-beige mass is in front of you, and it’s distracting. 

but your smile is so, so great, sender.

thank you for submitting to critique my dick pic. your dick pic gets a C.

My submission

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this is an interesting one, sender.

your picture is a clash of a very hot thing and a not-so-hot thing. the hot thing is the wet white t shirt, because everyone on the planet can agree that there’s something inherently sexy about a soaking wet tee. the not-so-hot thing is the fact that you’re not wearing anything else, i.e. you’re porky pigging, which is widely considered to be Not A Good Look. i realise that your dick needed to be out (it’s a dick pic!), but even so, the porky pig look can (and probably should) be avoided. 

in general, though, it’s a great shot: the framing, pose and background are expertly done. nice work!

thank you for submitting to critique my dick pic. your dick pic gets an A-.

A Touch of Tease

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After reading your terrific interview on Vice, I checked out your site, and applaud your candor, creativity, and compassion in evaluating these photos… I attempted to capture the eroticism of a “less is more” approach in what I chose to reveal and conceal.

I look forward to your gracious critique, and wish you the best in all your endeavors.

thank you for your polite email and thank you for your decent dick pic.

this is certainly a restrained and one might even say coy dick pic, but it’s definitely not toothless. there’s just enough of the head of dick peeping out to keep things interesting, and the interaction between your hand and cock is enticing. there are subtle, nuanced details like the edge of your hip bone and the shadow in the background; it’s all stark spaces and clean lines.

i like it. 

thank you for submitting to critique my dick pic. your dick pic gets an A-.

Dick pic

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i’m sorry sender, but it’s terrible.

i mean, what about this dick pic did you think made it worth emailing to me? your dick is way too zoomed in, cut off by the frame and you’re not doing anything with it, it’s just there. your feet are dangling in the background and you’re wearing any old pair of shorts and you’ve quite evidently put zero thought into any aspect of the shot. 

i’d be offended if someone sent this to me in my personal life and i would caution you not to. please peruse the A grades for some inspiration before you photograph your penis again.

thank you for submitting to critique my dick pic. your dick pic gets a D.

First dick pic ever

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bear with me while i quote a chunk of this sender’s email, because it’s quite touching:

Dick pics have always struck me as a particularly gross expression of male sexual aggression. I never imagined taking one of myself.  Yet, after reading your blog and experiencing the frank, amateur, genuine, intimate eroticism of the images and the kindness of your responses, I was inspired to take one of my own.  Your words gave me emotional permission to imagine someone enjoying me for what I am, not despite it… Thank you for helping me see this side of me.
thank you for your submission and for your kind words about critique my dick pic; i really appreciate them.
your dick pic isn’t bad at all, especially for a first effort. it’s got a very traditionally masculine vibe to it, with the olive green and tartan tones, and you are gripping your dick convincingly. you’re porky pigging, which isn’t necessarily the strongest of looks, but you’ve put visible effort into the framing and composition.
thank you for submitting to critique my dick pic. your dick pic gets a B+.
(no subject)

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this is definitely a good dick pic.

it’s a very stark picture, but your hand placement is adding just the right amount of warmth, and the completely clear background is visually appealing. black and white is becoming really overdone in the dick pic world, and i don’t think it adds much to your picture: it would have already been a subtle and arty picture without it. overall, though, it’s a crisp and well-planned shot.

thank you for submitting to critique my dick pic. your dick pic gets an A-.

(no subject)

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hmmmmmmmmm okay.

i quite like the layout here: it’s a wide picture and your dick is dead center, which is effective. your grip is strong and that’s erotic, but the splayed-legs pose is too in-your-face. it would benefit from sharper focus and the background is bland, but the amount of body you’ve included is generous.

it’s not blowing me away, but i’ve seen worse.

thank you for submitting to critique my dick pic. your dick pic gets a C+. 

yes please

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it’s definitely interesting, sender.

these are professional, carefully-composed pictures with expert framing, lighting and modelling. they are still falling a wee bit flat for me, mainly because they are so glaringly bright and catwalk-esque. the red and white contrast is visually appealing but the little glimmer of dick is so coy that it’s a bit toothless.

in short: great pictures, slightly flat erotic material.

thank you for submitting to critique my dick pic. your dick pic gets a B+.

(no subject)

it’s fine, but it’s not overwhelming.

you’ve included a decent amount of non-dick body and the background is simple, but your dick is just flopping there. there’s not a great deal of evidence that you carefully crafted this, but it’s certainly not offensive.

thank you for submitting to critique my dick pic. your dick pic gets a C+.

our bodies are not moral quandaries

I’ve been working up the courage to submit my “dick” for a long time. The sun was shining and I had just gotten out of the shower, and for the first time in a long time I wasn’t feeling overly self conscious about my genitals. That “born in the wrong body” stuff gets deeply internalized. I hoped to capture that this is not the wrong body, it’s my body.

it’s a dispiriting fact that most of us feel like our bodies are moral quandaries: problems to be solved part by part; sites of discomfort and dysphoria; vessels of flesh that we deem “good” or “bad” or a bit of both, depending on where we’re looking. i’m happy for you that you had a moment of respite, and i wish that sense of peace for everyone; especially everyone who’s not cis.

your dick pic isn’t bad. it’s very close-up, which tends to be a bit clinical, but the lighting is warm and the placement of your fingers is effective. i think it’s improvable, but i’m glad you made the effort; i know it took guts.

thank you for submitting to critique my dick pic. your dick pic gets a B.